Entries in the ‘PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY’ Category:

Where did I put my glasses today?

I was just wearing them, and now they’ve gone. They must be around here somewhere. They have thick black frames, with differing polarised prescription lenses because one of my eyes is better at seeing brightness/contrast than the other.

lg 3d tv

Ah there they are. Thanks, Jessica. Pop them on my nose for me.

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The psychedelic Samsung TicToc MP3 player

“Where am I?”

“In the village.”

samsung tic toc

“But I don’t want to listen to the Ricky Gervais podcast.”

“Don’t be silly. Everyone in the village listens to the Ricky Gervais podcast.”

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“But… I threw my Samsung TicToc in the sea.”

“No, your Samsung TicToc is right here.”

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*Jingle* Promotional Image of the Weeeeek

It’s that man again! Same PANICKED expression and rigid frame, although he seems to have ruffled his hair a little in honour of there being a celebrity around.

longoria standing near

Wank him off, Eva. It’ll calm him down once he’s got his first one out of the way.

eva longoria overstocked

Here’s another one, showing Eva’s new fridge DANGEROUSLY OVERSTOCKED. There’ll be grape juice everywhere if she slams that door.

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Wish we were invited to this event. Who do we talk to at LG about pretending we’re white goods journalists?

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HTC Desire manufacturer-provided ILLUSTRATIVE LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

There’s so many of them we’ve opted to use the WordPress Gallery tool to ease the self-inflicted workload for today. There’s an odd number of photos so it’s going to look a bit messy.

“These images come built into the HTC Desire. Now when I thumb through the photo gallery on my phone you can see my cool skateboading mates pulling off RAD tricks and hot birds that I pretend to hang out with before getting to the grainy shots of my cat in my dark flat and that picture of the inside of my pocket from when the phone came unlocked by accident. Perhaps you can work out what camera these pics were actually taken from and laugh at HTC for pretending you can take this quality of pic with this phone?” – You Likee.

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Samsung delivers rare chance to use term “suction power”

Samsung has launched some new vacuum cleaners. It has opted not to use a cliched housewife model, but has instead given the scene a nice 60s “vibe”. The good old 1960s. No internet, but the women didn’t complain about being the only ones that ever clean up the crumbs.

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Frankly, she’d be best off getting down on her hands and knees with a cloth to clean that laminate. That would also make an even more appealing shoot.

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Nice chairs. Nice shelves. Can’t say much else as we’ve already used today’s sexism allowance in the opening paragraph.

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The later photos in this series show her unsuccessfully trying to insert it. It was a very brave attempt, though.

THE WORDS:
Samsung launches 3 types of cordless stick vacuum cleaner and 5 types of handy cleaner on Jun. 25th. With Samsung’s twin chamber technology, the new cordless vacuum cleaners produce a stronger suction power.

The stick type has an auto shutter function that gives an excellent edge cleaning by automatically sensing edges and corners.

On top of that, the newest cordless vacuum cleaner ensures clean exhaust air, thanks to the adoption of HEPA filter system.

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Air conditioning units

Something about getting hot.

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Something about the new Daleks not being as frightening as the old Daleks thanks to cheaper, mass-produced Taiwanese Dalek cases.

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Something about all the ladies liking the big red one.

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Samsung’s new N230 netbook and PARK-BASED LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Here’s a lovely photo story, in which two ladies go to the park to look at dog photographs on their new Samsung N230 “netbook” and mess around with bubbles.

samsung n230 netbook 1

Here they are on the way to the park. The practical one in the blue dress has brought something to sit on and some food, while the one in white is only bothered about going on the internet. She probably finds the one in the blue hard work.

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No idea what they’re laughing about. In which order they’d wank off the England team to cheer them up? “Who’s last? WAYNE ROONEY! HA HA HA!”

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Oh, she didn’t bring something to sit on, just a change of outfits. We suspect this sequence is designed to illustrate the N230’s 10.1-inch LED backlit anti-reflective display.

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We have stopped paying attention to CPUs, so the Intel N450 this comes with means nothing. All we know is we went through a period of reviewing laptops for “work” about two years ago, and everything that had an Intel Atom inside it was rubbish.

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Is this what women do?

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Samsung wins award for its technical achievements in WiMax

To celebrate, it got a few girls in and tried to impress them by taking them up onto the roof of the office. Not many people have a key for the roof of the office, so it was quite the treat:

samsung wimax award

Or is this what the Sugababes look like now?

THE WORDING:
“Samsung Electronics was selected as the winner of ‘2010 IEEE Corporate Innovation Recognition’. IEEE, Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, has given this award each year to innovative products and outstanding achievements of electronic engineering from 1985. Intel, IBM, Microsoft, HP, Qualcomm and the world’s leading IT companies received this award. Samsung Electronics is the first Korean company to receive this award. Samsung was selected in recognition for the achievements in WiMAX (WiBro) technology.”

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Samsung launches ‘Zipel Top Class’

Have two of them defrosted, washed, polished, and sent to my kitchen.

samsung zipel

Damn the ‘no thighs’ rule for high-class promotional photographs.

THE WORDS:
Samsung launches ‘Zipel Top Class’, the upgraded version of its French door fridge, in the Korean market.

Zipel Top Class is designed with Samsung’s innovative technologies that ensure optimum cooling air and humidity level. Zipel Top Class also sports stainless steel French door, stylish design and LED lighting which is brighter and more energy-efficient.

Samsung expects this bottom freezer refrigerator to make a new wave in the industry.

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Philips and yet more LIGHTING LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

This is a bizarre set of photographs. Philips has gone for the more mature model, as in the girls are over 15 years old, which gives it a sort of weird suburban dinner party feel.

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No one’s rollerblading. None of these people even own rollerblades.

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We don’t aspire to this.

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“Oh no, I shouldn’t… OH OK THEN GIVE ME ALL THE BISCUITS”

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Amsterdam window show.

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