Entries in the ‘PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS’ Category:

‘Tis the season for [INSERT PRODUCT NAME]

Febreze. ‘Tis the season for Febreze. Despite the low quality of this photo, the set, the costume, the tree and the entire concept that lies behind the scene, this is a genuine and official festive image sent out by Proctor & Gamble.

It is nice to end 2009 on a low.

febreeze santa

Thanks for sticking with all this nonsense for another year, everyone. We might start doing all this again in a week or so, unless we have any better ideas for new blogs to do instead over Christmas. Morale on the Extra-Last newsdesk is not great.

ABOUT:
“Freshness: The Gift That Keeps On Giving. Santa has been working hard this holiday season, and his suit has been working overtime, too. This year, Febreze gifted active Santas in the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas (AORBS) with a bottle of Febreze Fabric Refresher to help them keep those hard-to-wash Santa suits festive and fresh!”

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: LG’s SU-410 and a sincere greeting

LG is still making phones that look like this. It’s nice to know someone is still supporting the button-making and hinge-making industries in this age of “touch screen” telephones.

lg-su410-phone

Her left hand has gone into a bit of a DEATH CLAW, sadly. She needs to work on relaxing that thumb. We’re sure her trainer will be assisting her with that in the new year. We could also help. Apparently the key is to put the thumb in a nice tight and warm place.

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: LG’s festive spread

Here’s a woman with some LG things. They might be phones, or MP3 players, or cameras. No idea these days. The model names seem to be Cooky, Show, KP500, KP502 and more. It all means nothing. Nothing means anything.

cooky-show-lg-spread

We’ve just been told that some new types of phone also function as MP3 players, so there’s a chance this might be some sort of new combination device. We’ll update you on this as it breaks.

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Everyone is AMAZED at the Build-A-Bear Workshop

It really isn’t that amazing a situation. Management will have told you to expect delivery of the sign, and someone within the branch would’ve been told to book the local Father Christmas for a photoshoot.

Santa-Workshop-galleria

There’s simply no believability in this scenario.

ABOUT:
Expanding his realm: Santa Claus has picked Build-A-Bear Workshop as his first manufacturing site beyond the boundaries of the North Pole. Under an arrangement with Build-A-Bear Workshop’s founder and chief executive bear Maxine Clark, Santa and his elves are magically transforming each Build-A-Bear Workshop across the world into Santa’s Workshops for the holidays. This was all supposed to happen under cover, but a surveillance camera captured Santa red-suited, red-faced and red-handed at the Saint Louis Galleria mall as he hung out his shingle early on the morning of Nov. 1.

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: The Apple Store reveals a new Apple Specialist!

Apple will be having a mildly Gothic Christmas this year.

apple store assistant festive

Stripy elbow sheathes? Is that what’s cool with the alternate-lifestyle kids these days?

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Placebo’s “interactive” advent calendar

The surprisingly still-going original “emo” rock group Placebo is celebrating Christmas on the internet, with a depressingly workmanlike series of product announcements. Did they ever do any songs in which they moaned about capitalism or the over-commercialisation of the modern world?

Or have we got them confused with the Manic Street Preachers?

placebo-calendar

How nice to know the band is thinking of us – and our £49.99 gift-buying budget – this yule.

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Relationships doomed to failure

Here’s a joyous scene most of us have come to associate with Christmas, issued in order to promote our favourite quickie final solution web site Divorce Online. We’ve done something on them before a very long time ago.

divorce-online-christmas

At least he has retained possession of the remote control. That is all most of us can hope for this year.

A quarter of Brits think Christmas causes relationships to suffer

With a whole host of decisions to make in the lead-up to Christmas, it seems that some of us are also going to use the festive season as a reason to end our relationships

We have all read the traditional Divorce Day stories that fly off the presses as soon as we all head back to work in the New Year, but is it really true that this is the worst time of the year for splitting up?

Divorce-Online.Co.UK decided to find out the truth and commissioned a comprehensive survey to find out why.

-Close to a quarter of UK adults agree that relationships with partners become more pressurized during the Christmas period. Women are more likely to take this view than men (26% vs. 22%). The residents of Bristol are also most likely to feel relationships with partner can become more pressurized during the Christmas period (35% vs. 16% in Birmingham and Cardiff)

[Read the rest of this entry…]

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Lesley Joseph doing a bit for charity

Here’s that woman who used to be “off the telly” but is now mostly “off the regional pantomime” putting something on a Christmas tree, to remind us that it’s soon going to be Christmas so we ought to get loads of prescription medication in off the internet to help calm the nerves and make it possible to get to January 3 without being found walking down a motorway in the rain.

lesley-joseph-hanging-tree

Probably would, if she agreed to buy us a new car for Christmas.

Give a gift from the heart this Christmas

This is a fantastic way for people to make a real difference this Christmas and support the charity’s Heart HelpLine

Brighten up your Christmas tree and support the British Heart Foundation (BHF) at the same time with these cuddly festive decorations, available at Yorkshire Building Society and Barnsley Building Society branches this December.

There are five cute characters to collect for a suggested donation of £1.50 each which will go towards the Heart to Heart Appeal in aid of the BHF.

The Appeal, which is being supported by actress Lesley Joseph, is Yorkshire Building Society’s 2009 annual fundraising appeal that will raise money to help fund the BHF’s vital work, including its Heart HelpLine.

The Heart HelpLine is a dedicated telephone service run by cardiac nurses and heart health advisers who are trained to deal with a range of medical and lifestyle queries. Anyone can call to ask about their own heart health problems or those of a loved one– a vital service for people whose lives have been devastated by heart disease.

Actress Lesley Joseph says: “I’m proud to be backing Yorkshire Building Society’s Heart to Heart Appeal for the BHF. This is a fantastic way for people to make a real difference this Christmas and support the charity’s Heart HelpLine which provides vital care and support for heart patients and their families.”

To find your nearest Yorkshire Building Society branch, visit www.ybs.co.uk/branchfinder

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: The Teufel interactive advent calendar

Online advent calendars never make that much sense, and here’s one that makes even less – featuring photographs of Teufel audio equipment behind each window. Look at it in a mixture of amusement, boredom and sadness here.

teufel-christmas-countdown

You get to enter a competition every day, in the hope of winning a prize and having your details added to Teufel’s automated mailout list. Merry Christmas! Don’t bother entering – the person organising it will have already taken most of the prizes home to give to friends or to sell to fund one of those fancy organic turkeys. Always happens.

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PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Branson’s entertainment “smorgasbord”

Let’s all pretend we’re not dreading Christmas with another annual collection of Santa-based promotional images. Here’s what some of what else we found while searching for “Girls Aloud sexy santa outfit red shoes”.

This one seems to be something to illustrate the awesome breadth of festive entertainment available to you, should you happen to like in the Branson Lakes area of… America.

BRANSON-LAKES-AREA

There will be a Santa for the kids, a magician (centre), a tree for environmentalists to look at, and some sexy mums to make dad feel like it was worthwhile driving all the way there in all that FUCKING TRAFFIC to spend loads of FUCKING MONEY on RUBBISH.

OFFICIAL CAPTION:
“Celebrate the season with Tony Orlando and the Lennon Sisters – one of more than 100 shows in Branson”.

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