Entries in the ‘OFF THE INTERNET’ Category:

Businessmen eating awkward party food and trying to smile about it

Three new blog ideas, here.

1. Things that look rude in thumbnails but then actually turn out to be NOT rude.

2. Businessmen eating awkward party food and trying to smile about it.

3. Men spitting food into napkins (probably been done).

businessman chocolate fountain 1 businessman chocolate fountain 2

businessman chocolate fountain 3

“Just saw these conference photos on Flickr, they looked a bit rude from the thumbnails” – Hugo.

HERE THEY ARE AS THUMBNAILS:

businessman chocolate fountain 1 businessman chocolate fountain 2 businessman chocolate fountain 3

He’s right.

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NEW BLOG IDEA: Big Cheques, for Low Amounts

What we really need is another blog. We’ve already suggested ‘Big Cheques’ but to give it an extra twist, how about ‘Big Cheques for Low Amounts’?

hersheys big cheque

As in, we start off with this, then try to find a Big Cheque for a Lower Amount every day (preferably week). Eventually, we’d discover the point at which it becomes simply too inefficient to pay to have a big cheque printed out.

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YouTube made an April Fool joke

And then YouTube thought it had better explain it’s made an April Fool joke right underneath the joke, in order to stop it getting bombarded by three billion complaint emails from confused idiots.

youtube text only joke

We admire it for spending the man-hours on altering its interface, though. It shows that YouTube hasn’t yet hit the part of its lifecycle where it has to start cutting costs and actually making some money to justify its existence.

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Hanako “Practise Robot”

It’s primary design feature is to help dentists learn about not poking their instruments through a patient’s cheek while subtly glancing at the cleavage of lady patients whenever they blink. It’s secondary and tertiary design features are as yet undocumented.

“I’m sure there are better uses for this technology. Can’t think what they could be, though” – Darrell

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“The Faces Behind the Famous Hands”

This behind-the-scenes exclusive comes courtesy of The Big Money.

faces-behind-hands

So they were someone else’s thumbs stuck on by computer. Case closed.

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Penis-like outline spotted in space

Man sent this in. We have to use it, as this could be the sort of lowest-common-denominator thing that gets upwards of 10 Diggs and may even make the front page of the printed-out monthy Twitter Digest.

The full scientific explanation of the penile spatial anomaly can be found here.

penis-in-space

“Nothing to do with SEGA, nor something with a face, nor someone holding something, and not even a gray-haired man posing in an ill fitting suit. But it is a penis in space. To save you having to look through a genuine astrophysics paper, I have attached the figure for your amusement.

“The caption reads ‘Fig. 2.— ACS three-color image of HCG 31. The gray polygons denote the boundaries of the physical regions associated with the galaxies and tidal structures in HCG 31 as labeled. They were defined by eye to encompass the optical light associated with each region.’ and not ‘LOOK AT THE WANG’. Not found by me but a close astrophysicist. It pays to keep at least one close” – SigF.

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We’ve got another new mobile phone

It’s half the size of our last one, and has a screen that does black as well as white. It’s manufactured by Great Personal Solutions, which is what that logo stands for.

ais-pda

The additional camera attachment comes with its own carry-trolley.

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LG’s “Chocolate Love” video incident

There’s a nice awkward moment at around the 13 second mark, when two of the girls make eye contact with the viewer. If you are uneasy about the whole eye contact thing, do not watch this.

They look at you like they know what you’re thinking and they mind.

This was sent in by “The ‘R’ Man” so you can blame him for the fact it was originally uploaded to YouTube on October 14 2009, already has 1.5m views and might, therefore, be considered “old”. We haven’t seen it due to living in a vacuum.

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NEW BLOG TEST: Huge Cheques Dot Com

Welcome to Huge Cheques.com! Every day we shall be scouring the internet for the very finest in photographs that feature those amazing HUGE CHEQUES!

To start things off, here’s a winning “LG Entertainer”, receiving her HUGE CHEQUE for 1,000,000 baht.

big cheques com

We estimate that cheque to be 160cm x 40cm – it certainly is a HUGE CHEQUE!

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Lady Parking at the Wonder Mall

A man sent this in. He thought it would just about be acceptable as it’s from a place that might sell gadgets. And there’s also a man holding what could be an iPhone in the smaller photo.

Compared with that photo of the garden with a face, this is SPOT ON.

lady parking

“I stumbled across this blog post and thought you’d like it, it can just about be linked to technology, as it’s a photo from a Chinese mall, I expect they sell fake iPhones there or something” – Keith.

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