Man spots what could possibly be the likeness of Jesus in a rice cracker. Happy Jesus (left) pictured after successfully coming back to life, and slightly “perturbed” Jesus, pictured there looking a bit confused at all the dead people caused by the series of bizarre fairytales that have been built up surrounding his existence.

“Hello, assuming it’s a slow day as per you might want this ‘content’ for your page. Here are some rice crackers with faces made out of what I can only hope is seaweed and not small squares of black sugar paper. The one on the left is happy, probably because his brain cavity is flattened indicating possible slow-wittedness. The one on the right is perturbed. And rightly so” – Paul in sunny Manchester.