Archive for April, 2010:

PECULIAR HOLDING DOUBLE-THING SPECIAL: Trees and chairs

We’ve had a couple of extremely odd product holding scenarios emailed in recently, both interesting in their own little ways. So we’ve combined them into one update, so it feels a bit special and looks like we’ve put in the same amount of effort as we used to in the old days.

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This one was sent in by “Richard”. The gardening web site (SCROLL DOWN) features this lady standing beside trees at the bottom of every page, to help viewers get an idea of the height of trees. They’re all about the same. We can only conclude the man in charge really likes looking at this lady and this was the best excuse he could come up with to spend a whole day staring at her and wondering if she eats properly or is just very active.

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And this is an arty chair shoot, sent in by “Grill” who we used to sit next to in depressing office confinement a few years ago. It’s the Mec Stool by Sebastian Jansson, which is “A highly personal though simple and rigid plywood structure, with a playful look” if that makes any sense to you.

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GigerPunk “Checking Ibis Hotel room for bed bugs on check-in”

Here’s a follow-up, as if one was actually needed, to “GigerPunk”‘s superb thing-spotting odyssey around London. It’s the long-awaited video of him checking his hotel room upon arrival.

If you don’t get to see the inside of modern hotel rooms due to having the sort of job where spending £60 to house a member of staff is considered too much of a luxury, this is why everyone complains about how depressing they are.

OPENING PREAMBLE:
“And all it took was alleged female ‘ThreeOliveMartini’ expressing a vague interest for me to upload my first video to YouTube (with the exception of a couple of Spore creature creations, which don’t really count as that was pretty much done automatically by the Spore Creature Creator anyway)”.

This is going to have to go in “uncategorized” as the closest we’ve got is probably “Toilet Equipment with Faces” and it’s not really anything like that.

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Philips LED TV ranges and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

The 7000, 8000 and 9000 LED TV range is ideal for viewing still images of shoes and holidays. The credit card will not be pointing in the direction of Philips.

philips 8000 series

“Is that him? Carlos? The one you shagged while I was out bungie jumping and catching chlamydia off the rep?”

philips 7000 series

“I bloody TOLD YOU it was the new Doctor Who last night.”

philips 9000 series

That show looks OK. Would watch that, as long as none of them are wearing any tights. You “pantyhose” enthusiasts are some sick fuckos. Bare toes all the way.

philips 9000 series 2

And what’s that supposed to be? Time Team? If this was done properly, she’d be watching something about fat people being made to go on diets by the government while he stares at his phone wondering if there’s any local dogging going on tonight.

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LG launches “Cheer Up Festival”

You know what would cheer us up?

lg cheer up festival

One of those to bounce around then kick about the house until it goes flat. A football. A football would cheer us up no end.

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Phones4U also in sexy webchat ‘Bait & Switch’

These bloody sexy phone chat specialists. Always bugging us for a quiet chat about possible upgrade deals.

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This one is the Phones4U one. Frankly we doubt she’s really up on all the latest SIM-free contracts and data transfer allowance variations, unless she’s been very well trained or is channelling the words of someone else through a BlueTooth headset.

phones4u-web-chat-hotness-2

But this WAS NOT A SWICTH! We got connected to a lady! We then panicked, took a screencapture and closed the window. If you want to try talking to Katy, she popped up on this page.

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Static non-powered objects with FACES #46: Rice crackers

Man spots what could possibly be the likeness of Jesus in a rice cracker. Happy Jesus (left) pictured after successfully coming back to life, and slightly “perturbed” Jesus, pictured there looking a bit confused at all the dead people caused by the series of bizarre fairytales that have been built up surrounding his existence.

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“Hello, assuming it’s a slow day as per you might want this ‘content’ for your page. Here are some rice crackers with faces made out of what I can only hope is seaweed and not small squares of black sugar paper. The one on the left is happy, probably because his brain cavity is flattened indicating possible slow-wittedness. The one on the right is perturbed. And rightly so” – Paul in sunny Manchester.

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APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT: Multitasking, books, icons, lists etc

Apple held another stunning press event earlier today, in which Steve Jobs decided to pretend he invented the following technical features:

- Multitasking

- Setting pictures as wallpaper

- Listening to music while going on the internet

- The literature of children’s author A. A. Milne

- Internet advertising

- Online gaming

- Putting files into folders

Here’s a photo which would be very easy to hilariously edit to read “Fail” if you’re into that sort of thing:

iphone-os-4-fall

Read the full and astonishing retro-invention claims over on Engadget’s live blog of the iPhone 4.0 OS unveiling. The bit where he enthuses about being able to change the background wallpaper is the best.

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LG Mini GD880 and ‘The Henge’

LG is reviving the age-old technique of ‘Hengeing’ to show off the angular lines of its forthcoming LG Mini GD880 smartphone, a phone so STURDY and ANGULAR it can easily be stacked into neat henge-like structures.

Behold, Plastichenge:

lg mini henge

Phonehenge party at our place tonight. Bring your phone. Make sure it’s a hengeable one with proper edges and ends.

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SanDisk’s 32GB microSD card and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Oh yes, we love it when the ladies pop them out so we can have a good look.

sandisk 32gb sd card

We’re not so keen on it when the ladies wedge them back in the wrong way round and it gets jammed in the slot, though. So it’s best to follow the official manufacturer advice and only let the man be in charge of the memory cards.

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*JINGLE* Promotional Image of the Weeek

This device has been given the astonishing name of the Golden-i(TM). It’s made by Kopin, if you’re thinking of combining traditional workwear with modern technology in a similarly groundbreaking fashion and want one.

golden i

It is, and we’re going to have to quote someone here, the first “hands-free mobile computing experience that enables the orchestration of multiple devices through cloud computing”.

OFFICIAL CAPTION:
“The Golden-i(TM) device from Kopin(R) Corporation is a lightweight Bluetooth/WiFi headset that provides users a 15-inch virtual PC display with a hands-free, natural speech recognition interface for wireless remote control over an array of host devices including cellular phones, PCs, company networks and wireless systems”

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