GigerPunk’s amazing ‘stream-of-consciousness’ business trip findings
Poor old reader “GigerPunk” has submitted documentary evidence of what would appear to be a complete and total mental breakdown, experienced during a work trip in an authentic ‘Alan Partridge’ style.
Watch the very fabric of a man’s being deteriorate, AS LIVE!
OPENING PREAMBLE:
“I’ve been stuck on a training course in London for the past week, saw some things whilst there I thought you might like so brought them back for you. Call ‘em souvenirs if you like.”
“The keyboard for the overpriced Internet access in my hotel room. Turned it over to check for batteries but they’d put a sticker on it that I was too chicken to break the seal on, so I’ll never know what batteries it held now :(“
“It DID however, have a smiley face, so think that make have made up for it a bit?”
“Whilst out on a pub crawl round the financial district, I saw this cigarette bin that I HAD to grab a photo of.”
“Then over lunch the next day, I thought I’d get a better photo, sober, in daylight. Not sure if it reminds me more of V.I.N.cent / B.O.B. from the Black Hole, or Hack and Slash from Reboot. I think closer to the latter now I come to actually examine some pics.”
“Then, round Paddington station, saw this mono-nostrilled pig smoking a fag.”
“And once home again at the end of the week and picking up some shopping, saw this ‘kawaii’ cake box.”
“And this potato attempting to be Pacman.”
“And whilst the internet keyboard in the hotel was a no-go, the TV remote was a different matter.”
Did the “slowly getting closer and closer” thing you like…”
“…and a teasing little peek inside the battery cover before revealing all, and ending with some (poorly focused) shots of the batteries admiring the view across the east end.”
They’ve already been covered a couple of years ago – but I didn’t know that at the time as I refused to pay the 10 quid per night internet access charge, I couldn’t pickup any other wireless signals in the vicinity (and wasn’t going to lug my old Tosh laptop round to try and find one) and couldn’t connect anything to the PC on my training course. Figured what the heck I’ll include them anyway, the story behind it all may be handy as it’ll mean less to type…”
“Anyway, think that’s everything now, pretty sure you don’t want pictures of strange green teas from Dim-Sum bars or strange green pints of beer from the Magpie pub, let alone my video review of my hotel room/checking for bedbugs on check-in…I’ve got some catching up to do now with email, support tickets raised in my absence and a week’s worth of UK:R, Extra-Last and SexyExecs to read… (Oh yeah, and usual caveats about picture quality apply, I only had a Nokia N73 on me…)” – GigerPunk.
filed in BATTERIES!, GADGETS WITH FACES on Apr.01, 2010
April 1st, 2010 on 12:08 pm
Looks like you had an amazing time, Giger. I wish I’d been there with you.
The pig with the cig was a particular high point.
April 1st, 2010 on 12:38 pm
Reader of extra last goes to pub? Yeah, right. I know what day it is.
April 1st, 2010 on 12:55 pm
Two similar but different crap cars on the move in exactly the same position next to the B.O.B. fag destructor. Amazing.
April 1st, 2010 on 4:48 pm
r.mcgahan@btinternet.com
April 1st, 2010 on 6:08 pm
Heh. I’m actually wearing my “I toured the Financial District Ale Trail T-shirt” as I type this.
I know, Sponge Finge, going to the pub’s not really my thing and going to 5 in one night? Well, seeing as my usual yearly alcohol consumption is roughly 1/2 a bottle of Martini; 6 pints of 4-5% real ale in quick succession in one evening (followed by curry and an argument in brick lane) almost did me in.
But the guy I was on the course with doesn’t know when to stop drinking once he’s started and my C.D.O.* wasn’t going to allow us to not get all the relevant stamps to complete the route map and get our ‘free’ t-shirts…especially after we’d bumped into some nice Canadian bloke in one of the pubs who was doing his second tour of the pubs to get another t-shirt as he said they were so great.
But then, he also said he was the head speaker for the Ontario Government, over for some form of training on government policy/procedures in Westminster so why we believed him I don’t know.
Oh, actually, I do: I think we were on our 3rd or 4th pints (the aforementioned green one) at that point and I was already swaying slightly. That might have had something to do with it.
Video review of hotel room still available if required btw but it’s something like 30-odd mb and in nokia .amr format so…
The two similar but crap cars are, in fact, taxis.
Have to admit, I’m stumped by that email address up there in the comment above though. Should I mail the other pictures/video to that address?
Oh yeah, and whilst helping a friend move house today, I saw a couple of things dropped on the kitchen floor that definitely exhibited face-like features.
Took pics, obviously. Interested?
(Obviously, getting further and further away from the tech-blog remit but seeing as you posted my pictures of cake boxes and potatoes I think we’re fairly well away from it already now. Maybe need to start a new blog, just for any kind of non-living object with a face?)
Either way, nice to know my slow downward spiral into the madness of battery addiction and seeing things-with-faces everywhere isn’t a complete waste, even if the course I’d gone on wasn’t much cop.
(* C.D.O. – Like O.C.D. but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they bloody well should be.
April 1st, 2010 on 6:22 pm
Clearly a cry for help from old Giger, followed up by a second one to make sure we all heard the first one.
Maybe R. McGahan (@btinternet.com) is some sort of psychiatrist; Giger’s last hope?
That said, before your mind is lost forever and McGahan’s bill ruins you financially, can we have a picture of this hard won t-shirt?
April 1st, 2010 on 7:57 pm
That there Lunnon. ‘Tis like in all the books!
April 2nd, 2010 on 8:44 pm
- “So vividly written, I could just smell the amalgamate of sweat, cheap deodorant and utter sorrow”
– “A stunning autobiography from the hero traversing the far ends of sanity”
– “The story of prodromal suicidality has never been told this well”
A must buy. G. Punk’s amazing, ‘Stream of Consciousness’. Just £8,98 – one penny cheaper than pie.
April 2nd, 2010 on 9:53 pm
I’d buy it.
The pie that is, I get this stream of conciousness for free, 24/7. Yay me.
Happy to sell shares in it for £8.98 a time though, shall I make up a banner like Jody did, idiot?
April 5th, 2010 on 3:12 am
I almost certainly DO want to see a video review of GigerPunk checking his hotel room for bed bugs. That sounds amazing.