Archive for January, 2010:

‘Eastern Cross’ product display attempt

Here we join Lin-Yan and Soo-Lin from South Korea, in the third round of the Synchronised Pairs. They’ve opted for the 6.0-rated Eastern Cross, a hard move that relies on both girls to maintain both horizontal and vertical alignment, while also ensuring no screensavers kick in.

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Looking good… just need to hold it in position for the regulation ten seconds…

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BUT OH NO IT’S ALL GONE! It’s all gone. They’ve crashed out of synch. This is a disaster. A DISASTER for the Korean pair! It was all looking so promising, then, quick as you like, all four phones tumbled wildly out of alignment. The team¬†manager won’t be ‘cross’, he’ll be LIVID!

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APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT: iPad special report

Last night’s iPad launch was the finest episode of APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT yet.¬†It was the blockbuster, feature-length season finale of APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT, in which Apple pulled out all the stops and pretended to invent… pretty much everything.

Including but not limited to:

- The Internet

– Web pages

– Video games

– Laptop computers

– Books

– Magazines

– Online video

ipad hi-res

It was incredible seeing Steve Jobs sitting there with his iPad, saying “It’s amazing being able to sit here and access the internet!” in a really enthusiastic voice, like he was mainly trying to convince himself or like he’d completely missed out on ever seeing a laptop or modern mobile phone.

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And still no multitasking? People use laptops all the time nowadays, Steve, even women do this with EASE, with MSN, Twitter clients, web pages, MP3 players, streaming music services and the like all open at once – if the iPad can’t do that, it’s even more of a step backwards than most Apple products.

macbook air

And remember this? No. Exactly. Seeing experienced tech people saying iPad is a “game changer” today is a bit cringeworthy. It’s a hobbled laptop, or a phone too big to bother taking outside. At least it’s not $1999.

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Bigtrak slowly edges forward on comeback trail

Had one of these. We’re quite bored of having to ironically pretend everything we had as a child was good, but Bigtrak WAS good. Especially after the subsequent Christmas when we got the trailer attachment.

bigtrak return

It got left out in the garden and went haywire, refusing to obey commands, so had to be smashed up and buried. According to Pocket-Lint, Biggie will be back this summer, for 30 quid.

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POSSIBLE NEXT NEW CAMERA: Pentax H90

Look at it. Look at how quirky it is. Nothing says “I’m a bit quirky, I am” more than buying a mass produced product from a major international corporation.

pentax-H90

Plus that orange one will be discounted to half its RRP inside a month, bringing it well within our price bracket.

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Gadgets with FACES #187: An unknown thing

Sent in by a “Ben” who didn’t even bother with any sort of accompanying explanation, apology, excuse or insult. It’s this sort of apathy that hurts the most.

TS319 AV2

The image is called “TS319_AV2″ which leads us to suspect it’s a redesigned 9 Walt Nail Gel UV Lamp (TS319). Although that’s is only our finest bit of Google journalism at work, so we may be wrong there.

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Pantech lady can accommodate about *this much* girth

The whole series (of four) can be found over at Akihabara News, which is making it a bit difficult for people to steal images off its site nowadays – so won’t be too pleased to see this, here:

pantech-sky-phone-lady

“She may believe she’s adding style points, perhaps even framing her face nicely; but I am uneasy with the fact it could be a gang sign. I hear they are all the rage with the kids now, so I can’t endorse the sign for fear of offending the rival gang. I just don’t need that kind of drama” – Jon.

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LG Cooky and some precise arrangement

Product holding, neat displays, spiral logos, two young women paid to do what they’re told to do and wear what they’re told to wear for an hour – this photo is INTOXICATING.

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They’re trying to communicate something in binary.

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Terrible photo. What’s going on here? The perspective’s so mental the lady on the left looks like a cardboard cut-out. This is like a psychedelic moment from “The Prisoner” where Number Two tries to convince Number Six his name is actually “Cooky”.

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Sony Ericsson Vivaz and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Poor old Sony Ericsson. It’s not an iPhone. It’s not really on the Android bandwagon. It employs people who think “Vivaz” is a good name for a product. And it’s hindered by having to put “Sony” on its products. It’ll never win.

sony ericsson vivaz 1

Ironic hair. Leather jacket. Girlfriend he got off the internet and is yet to discover he has nothing in common with.

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But well done, fashionable man! He’s not even pretending he’s interested in getting her head in shot. A picture of the outline of her tits is all he needs.

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Now he’s pointing it at the ground, getting a shot of the woman standing next to him’s shoes.

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He had to take one of her face in the end, to avoid rousing suspicions and leading her to instigate a full memory card check.

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Darth Vader updates breathing apparatus

His new one comes with the ability to send 140-character text messages via sub-carrier to any ship in the fleet.

Motorola DCR

Pressing the red X button makes him die. Typical glaring Imperial design flaw.

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Come and see Apple’s latest creation

Looks like it’s some sort of spray paint toy.

apple launch event

We can only image the sort of miserable “Free the Creativity within you” sort of positive affirmation messages that are going to accompany this nonsense.

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